I have been dealing with all manner of emotions lately.
I’m not good with writing about this stuff anymore than I am dealing with it. What they all have in common is that they bring people together and that is partly the problem with me. I can’t even manage that.
The morning of my “real” birthday 29th February we got the stunning news that our nephew had died. He was only 26 and just starting out in what looked like an amazing life with his partner of 8 years. Last summer he found a lump in his testicle and immediately saw his GP. Within the week it had been removed and it was shown to be malignant. He had further tests and a few months later they found it had grown some more and decided to treat it with chemotherapy. They told him that he had a 99% chance of survival.
After his second course of treatment he started to complain of heartburn and that morning he stood up to reach for something from his bed and dropped down dead. He fell face down between the bedside table and the bed and his partner couldn’t even turn him over as he was wedged in. In any event he was dead from a heart attack. As with any young death it hits very hard and I don’t think our family will ever be the same again. They gave him a wonderful funeral. A celebration of his life. I would have loved to have been there but I decided that it could not be. People need space to grieve and I would have been in the way. Also I would have been weeping and that is never good when you are on oxygen therapy. A bunged up nose is no use at all and the whole thing can trigger a panic attack so I stayed away.
On a much happier note I was made a Grandma again. Jacob Alex came rushing into the world within 20mins of arriving at the hospital and was home in time for tea and a cuddle of his big sister Lola. I got to hold him the following Saturday which wasn’t too bad. I was very grateful that I was well enough to travel otherwise it might have been sometime before I saw my Grandson.
A week later and we had a wedding to go to. My friends daughter was tying the knot at a city church and afterwards in rooms upstairs opposite the castle. I had more or less decided because of the inclement weather of late that I would miss the church but would go to the reception. Unfortunately after talking with her it soon became apparent that there was no way I could go. There was no lift and no disabled toilet. So that was that. Another get together I have had to miss out on. I hate to moan or dwell on stuff I can’t change but I think it’s hard for others to realise just how isolated a disabled person feels and how lonely it can get.
With this in mind my thoughts have been turning towards getting a little companion. I have ruled out a dog as I consider them as children who never grow up. I can’t exercise or groom a dog so a cat seems the ideal choice. We used to have a Siamese cat who lived to be 17 and was loved dearly and then we got a rescue cat who didn’t last 5 years. It’s been 2 years now since she died and we are ready for another bundle of fluff to invade us. I have been looking at different breeds and the “Bengal” is the one I have chosen. Their coats are stunning and they appear to have lovely temperaments. So it happened that Sunday afternoon we took a ride out to visit a cattery that breed them and had a wonderful time petting the kittens and talking to the breeder about them. We have decided that we will wait for the next litter and then pick one, hopefully ready to take home by the Autumn. Watch this space 😉
We are born we live and then we die…natures way….take care 😉